More Than Three Plus One

I was on the phone with my mom this afternoon, crying.  I am packing and it is slow going.  I have four kids.  And everyday they require my attention and my time.  That alone is more than a full time job.  Add to that all the paperwork for buying a house and moving north, as well as packing up all our earthly possessions, and you have the perfect storm.

I am so overwhelmed.  I feel like I can barely keep afloat.

Between my high expectations of summer  (which have not been met due to crummy weather and crummier tummy aches) and having a sleepless baby, I'm struggling with the day to day currently.  I want so badly to meet all their needs.  To say yes, to have fun, to listen to their stories, to be the one who tucks them in.  I was telling my mom that I'm like a triage nurse, but all my patients need the exact same care. So where do you start? How do you keep up?  

On top of that, once I decide whom to care for, I suffer from mom guilt for the child (or children) who had to wait. I knew that four kids would be hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard.  Somehow taking care of the boys and Carly feels like more than three plus one.   

The comedian Jim Gaffigan said, 

"You want to know what having a fourth child is like?
Imagine you're drowning...

And someone hands you a child."

He pretty much nailed it.


Tabitha Studer said...

oh, Shelly! Sending you love from western PA. Moving is such an exhausting and emotional thing! That alone can send a person over the edge - let alone add your stomach problems (did you find out what the issue was/is?!) and a baby girl who isn't sleeping well. Bless you, momma!! When I start getting overwhelmed with the massive amounts of things that need done I literally start singing the Sound of music line, "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start" over and over like a mantra. And then I just try to do one thing, and then one more thing...it's silly but somehow it works for me. sending you love momma - you got this!! xxox

Amanda said...

oh bless you! That would overwhelm anyone---just take it hour by hour. Task, by task. You have done hard things before and you will get through this time. you and your precious children will survive---and they won't even remember it when they are grown;) Hugs!

Holly said...

So many hugs! We moved when K was our babies' current age. It was hard and so stressful! And we are not moving currently, but I do know what you are talking about - life is very full right now. I also feel like having a baby, plus older kids is a bit harder bc (at least at my house), I feel like I spend a lot of time putting the baby to sleep, and the other kids spend a lot of time waking baby up. It is hard not to get frustrated! Anyway, you've got this and a few months from now all this stress will be behind you. Hugs!