Back in May my cousin Alix got married. She asked Josh to photograph her big day and what a beautiful day it was. I was eleven when Alix was born, and I loved her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. I loved to hold her and play with her, make her laugh and giggle. As she grew up, we stayed close. Now we love to get together with our sisters and moms whenever we're all in town together. Watching her get married felt surreal. How was this baby I'd known from her first day on earth getting married already?!? Time is funny that way.
Seeing her get married had me thinking about my own wedding and the marriage that has followed it. Josh and I talk about it a lot. Are we just lucky? Was it good timing to meet while we were still so young and flexible in our ways? We certainly are blessed to have both sets of parents still married and our grandparents as well. I am usually a black & white thinker. All or nothing. Full or empty. But in this case, I think that our marriage lasting 13 years (and us still being happy!) is due to quite a few factors.
One is what I already said, the examples laid out before us. Another is definitely (in my opinion) dating from a young age. We weren't set in our ways at 16 & 17. We have been able to grow together and adapt. Another is hard work. We work to put our marriage first, celebrating date night every week after the kids are in bed, talking and texting throughout the work week and making sure we're on the same page with everything from projects to parenthood. Another is that we are selfless. That is a bold statement to make, I know, but I see it everyday. Josh makes sure that my needs are met before his, and I work to make sure his needs are met above mine. It's in the little things-- me waking up to make his lunch every morning before he goes to work. Him making the bed after his shower or folding the basket of laundry he sees sitting on the living room floor. We are constantly thinking of the other instead of ourselves and that makes the little annoying things we do to each other a lot more tolerable. Lastly, we laugh. Oh do we laugh. I never knew how important laughter would be until I met Josh and we hit some hard times. We always say, "If you don't laugh, you'll cry" and it is so true.
At our wedding, I had known little heartache. I was beautifully naive and optimistic. Since our wedding, I have experienced some loss. Our marriage has taken a few hits--namely, Logan, Jack, Wyatt & Carly ;) and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it hasn't been easy. Parenting together is hard. Making financial decisions together is hard. Adulting is hard. But there isn't anyone I'd rather work hard alongside than him.
I hope that as my sweet cousin and her husband grow old together, they feel the same way. Facing life down, working hard together and laughing all the way.