I got rid of my week-by-week baby, pregnancy & infant sleep books.
It basically felt like throwing my uterus away.
Alright, that's dramatic.
But also, accurate.
So, we're done. Handing them to the man at the local Goodwill, was basically the same as handing the surgeon my fertility. Glad to have that finished.
For a while after I had Carly (basically until she was about a year and a half) I still had occasional thoughts about having a fifth child... but now I feel total peace about the size of our family. Four is it. We're good. I am so blessed by our three boys and by our one girl. The only thing (seriously, the only thing) that gives me pause is the fact that Carly will not have a sister. But I console myself with the fact that some of my best friends don't have sisters. She'll just find really good friends.
Afternoons are when my life tends to be the craziest. The boys get home from school and they're emptying backpacks and telling me about their day and asking for help with homework while Carly is getting into everything and tantruming that I won't let her draw on Wyatt's Parent Chat folder... and it's in those moments I know I have
How did you know (or do you know yet???) that you were done having babies? For me, finally knowing (and having complete peace about it) has been such a gift because it has allowed two things. One, it has allowed me to get rid of all the baby things easily. (Baby saucer? Buh-bye! Baby bath? See-ya-later!) And two, it has allowed me to really cherish every stage Carly has entered and left. I know it will end (both the good, and the bad) so I can enjoy the good, and laugh my way through the bad, which has been really nice.
I did love being pregnant, and I'm sad about never being pregnant again. And I'm sad to never nurse another baby. But I won't regret not having a fourth c-section and I'm so glad to know I'll never experience post-partum anxiety or migraines ever again. Those were kind of the worst.
It's weird, though. I was telling my mom, I spent my whole life dreaming of having babies and being a mom and POOF! In less than ten years, that chapter of my life is over. (Not the being a mom part, but the 'having babies' part.) I'm sure glad I enjoyed it while it lasted!