Around Here: Week 43 2020

 {October 18-24th}

{My mom & my older brother Dalton}

{My grandpa getting his chemo}

{note the high heels}

Welcoming... Josh home after he was gone all weekend working at my grandparent's house. It was so kind of him and his brother to do all that work for Grandma Pansy & Grandpa Jerry, and I really appreciated him being my hands while I am able to do so little to help them. 

Grateful... that Grandpa's second chemo treatment went really well, and he isn't suffering any side effects or anything other than tiredness.  It's such a blessing. Also a blessing that they can get the treatment in a neighboring town. They don't have to go all the way to Portland to get it each week. 

Enduring... Carly waking every night at least once a night. It is just exhausting. But it's also bittersweet because I know that this phase won't last forever, and soon I won't have any kids waking me up at night regularly.  So while I wears me out, I am also trying to cherish it. I feel like that balancing act in itself sums up motherhood.  Trying to enjoy it while not letting it kill you.

Washing... dishes for dayssssss when I didn't do them the entire weekend Josh was gone. A lot of people asked why the kids don't help with the dishes, and please don't worry, they do.  But that weekend we were on the go and then just relaxing, so we just never got to them.  And by the time I needed to face them, it was a bit overwhelming of a task to lay on the boys, so I did them myself. But the twins do dishes a lot, and Josh cooks or does the dishes pretty much every single night. I am very lucky!  (But I do need to get better at adding paper plates to my regular grocery list. Hah!)

Laughing... when Carly showed up downstairs in a dress up dress and crown and demanded that I "bow at her".  (For those wondering, I for sure bowed at her... I was a little afraid of what might happen if I didn't.)

Swearing... at the twins when they lost their shit over a zoom meeting I made them attend and wanting to just disappear Monday... They weren't listening; I had no patience; and together, we made school at home feel like hell on earth.  We are six weeks in, and still I am struggling.  They want to set the agenda for the day, or only do what the teacher says... but I am the adult in charge here, and reminding them of that constantly is getting quite old.  

So...

Grounding... the twins from their game consoles and all screens for the foreseeable future until they can say, "Okay mom" to whatever I ask without arguing or losing their minds.  While Josh was home, it was much less of a struggle to get them to listen, but now that he's at work everyday, I am feeling very on my own, and we had a bit of a "Come to Jesus".  All the things they have here in this house, are a privilege, and one they have to earn by doing their jobs- both chores around here and school.  So until they shape up, screens are out. 

Trading... screens for chores on Tuesday.  
The twins cleaned out the garage, weeded the yard and did multiple jobs in the house during what would normally have been their screen time. I am hopeful this motivates them to be more respectful of me.

Watching... When Calls The Heart, season by season, working my way toward the new seasons (6 & 7) that I bought on Amazon Prime.  I can't wait to see what the new seasons hold. 

Feeling... proud of the twins for pouring themselves into their NWEA testing (reading) on Thursday.  They both took their time and got scores that were right where they should be.  I'm always glad when their test scores reflect what they actually know.

Suffering... a migraine Friday and letting myself stay in bed. It meant the kids got more screen time than I would have liked (the twins earned theirs back with their good job/focus on the NWEA) but when I have a migraine, it's about survival. 

Removing... Carly's pink booster seat from her kitchen table chair.  I don't know what it is, that she's my last, or maybe that I only have a few things left from her infancy & toddlerhood, but moving on from those baby items is super hard for my heart.  

We sold her bike trailer because she can ride a bike with training wheels now.  We gave her tricycle to my niece.  She no longer wears diapers or bibs, never took a bottle or a binky, and I have her stroller, but I know that I won't ever use it again. I just haven't bit the bullet and gotten rid of it yet. 

So unbuckling that tiny chair from her seat before dinner this week felt monumental.  

She will be five in two months. Five. I can't even believe it. 

And even though it's going too fast, and I want to slow time down, I also wouldn't trade it for anything. Watching her grow up is my greatest joy. 

So very bittersweet. 

Enjoying... book club which met via Zoom this week to discuss our book, Lila by Marilynne Robinson. The discussion went from distance learning to the book to our value as women, and what impacts our self esteem and our self worth. It is just so good for my soul to spend time with those women.  They all understand my role as wife and mother, and they understand the demands placed on my shoulders.  They are so kind and good to me (and each other) and they have been a super bright spot throughout quarantine.  I love you Legenda Ladies!!!

Reading... The Body Keeps Score (which is a slow read that I want to fully absorb before rushing to the next chapter) and Leave The World Behind, which is a page turner from Book of the Month.  Seriously, I was dying to find out what happens in Leave The World Behind. (But, semi-spoiler-alert, I was not pleased with the ending of LTWB at all!)

Seeing... the pic of my older brother and my mom sharing one last dinner before she moves away (from him, but closer to me & my sister!) made me tear up. I am so grateful that they were able to do that, and I just love my brother. 

Falling... head over heels for the tree in front of our house. It is the most beautiful color in October, and it feels like a gift.  It always makes me think of Anne of Green Gables saying, "I'm so glad I live in a world with Octobers." 

***

Around Here: Week 31 {2018}

Reading... Goodbye, Vitamin and nearly finishing. It was such a good, quick, easy read.  I finished Educated on audio and have since started An American Marriage, which is interesting.  Educated was good, but didn't live up to the hype in my opinion, just meaning it was four stars, but not the five everyone else seemed to think it deserved.  I did really like it, though!  I have put down Ghosted, which sort of stalled out for me. I am curious what happens, so I think I'll finish it eventually, but this summer I don't want to push myself through a mediocre book. So I put it away for now, even though I'm halfway through.

Choosing... my August Book of the Month.  I love getting my monthly email telling me it's time to choose.  This month I chose Goodbye, Paris which is about a woman whose love life is shattered and how she pulls herself together in the aftermath.  I also added two extra books including A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold, which was written by the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the shooters at Columbine High School; and Not That I Could Tell by Jessica Strawser, which is about a group of neighborhood moms who get together one night for drinks and then one mom goes missing with her twins the next morning.  The extra add-on books are only $9.99 each!

Mourning... the end of When Calls The Heart on Netflix.  I got through season 4 and am now seriously considering buying Season 5 on iTunes because I am missing the characters so much!

Having... a BBQ with Josh's cousin and his wife last weekend that was so fun.  They have two little boys and all the kids had so much fun playing together.  They have a bird nest in their backyard that was highly entertaining and there was loads of good food to eat.  I am hoping we will continue getting together at least once a month.

Forcing... child labor on our children.  We made the boys collect totes of rocks in our side yard Monday so Josh could put the rocks along the edge of the shed in the back yard.  The shed looks amazing and the hard work didn't kill the children, despite their insistence that it might.

Loving... our sweet little garden, especially the little watermelon that's growing more each week.  It's just so darn cute!  And our corn will be ready to harvest pretty soon as well!  Our pumpkins have a few more months and I can't wait until they start growing. They are, hands down, my favorite thing to watch grow in our garden.  They grow so fast once they start!

Taking... the twins' twin friends to the pool with us on Monday afternoon.  It was a super hot day.  I don't think we were out of the water the entire time.  They had so much fun, and slept so good that night. Hah! Best part of swimming is how ready they all are for bedtime!  I also loved in the car when Carly was talking a mile a minute and I answered her and Channing (one of the twins) stopped and looked at me, then at Carly and said, "So you speak her language?" Haha! I guess not everyone speaks "two year old" as well as those of us who live with one. :)

Laughing... when I rolled up to the school on my walk, pushing Carly in her stroller, to see Jack riding Wyatt's bike, with his roller blades on.  These kids of mine, they're crazy, I tell ya!

Facing... Josh going back to work Tuesday through Friday this week and being left with the kids by myself.  I am so lucky that Josh is home all summer and when he has to go back for training and to get his classroom ready, we all miss him desperately!  This week he actually ended up being home again the last two days because Logan got a stomach virus, couldn't keep his seizure meds down and had a seizure Thursday morning; then Wyatt & Jack both caught it, so Josh stayed home Friday as well to help me keep Carly away from them in hopes she wouldn't catch it.  We got lucky and the virus ended with just the boys. Phew!  Josh was so sweet that when he was out gathering supplies (Gatorade, 7 Up and Saltines) he brought home roses for me, too, for being such a good mama & wife.  I am so thankful for that guy.

Canceling... all our fun plans for Thursday & Friday (with my sister and a girlfriend) because of sick kids.  Who gets the stomach flu in August?!? It was a crummy way to end the week, but I am just grateful that Josh, Carly and I managed to get by without succumbing!

Looking... forward to all the last things on my summer bucket list like swimming at the Washougal, looking at the stars with the boys on the trampoline, celebrating my 15 year anniversary with Josh next week, eating a meal outside in the backyard, and taking a family bike ride.  We're gonna squeeze every ounce of goodness out of this summer!!!

***