Around Here: Week 18 2020

 

 

Starting... the week with a terrible migraine on Sunday and suffering a migraine hangover on Monday.  It was so miserable. I had to ice on Sunday and didn't get any of the things done that I had hoped to. The rest of the week my head ached off and on. 

Joyful... that the ukulele that the kids got from my Grandma Pansy came.  It's blue and so cute.  They love it.  Logan learned how to play in fourth grade with his music teacher, and he's looking forward to brushing up again now that we have one here.  The other kids want to learn as well.  My personal favorite is watching Carly play- she closes her eyes and you can tell, she really feels the music. It's so precious.

Finding... my keys that Logan lost while getting the mail a few weeks ago.  It happened sort of by luck- Logan mentioned to our neighbor that he had lost them, and Jaime said that he had seen some keys with a pink keychain posted on Facebook as found. Turns out, one of our neighbors had found them and picked them up near the mailbox.  I was overjoyed to have located them.  It saved us so much work- getting a new key fob for the van, new house keys, a new mail key, etc.  So grateful for good people!

Sewing... all the things while sitting at the table while the kids did school work this week.  I sewed two of Carly's stuffed animals, one of Jack's sweaters, and Wyatt's blanket. It felt great to fix things with my own two hands. 

Hanging... my art as soon as it came this week and feeling so happy I spent the money on it. Every time I look at it, it makes me smile and reminds me that no matter what's going on in the world around us, we can control what happens in our home.  We can keep this a beautiful place, full of light & love, and that feels pretty good.

Struggling... with my emotions for most of the week.  It was like I hit a wall- six weeks doing just fine and then BAM! I was grouchy, irritable and impatient. It wasn't good. For any of us.

Breaking... down Wednesday when I woke up with a sinus headache and felt like I just couldn't face another day with a headache.  I cried (and cried and cried) for over an hour that morning, the tears just continually flowing, like a faucet that had been left on. 
Every emotion that had built up for the last 40+ days came spilling out and when my tears finally dried up, I felt so much lighter.  I guess I just needed a good cry.

Sleeping... all night long Wednesday night and waking up early Thursday morning for some "me time".  I listened to the Holderness family podcast about change and why we might be experiencing a roller coaster of emotions (sometimes in a five minute span) when it comes to quarantine life, and I felt so heard and validated.
I also think I zeroed in on two of the most important things for my  mental health right now: sleep and alone time. So I am going to make sure those happen next week so that I can come at life from a more even place.

Coloring... my "We Can Do Hard Things" printable (that I got free from Glennon Doyle's Untamed website) with the kids.  While we were coloring Jack asked me if a grey crayon was pink.  Sometimes their colorblindness takes me by surprise (his and Logan's).  I just wish for two minutes I could look through their eyes and see what they see!!
When we finish our coloring pages, I plan to hang them in our front window for the neighbors to see when they walk by our house. A little encouragement for all of us to get through our days.

Placing... flowers from Logan & Carly into a vase in the kitchen and smiling at them each day as I did the dishes.

Roasting... marshmallows for smores in our new fire pit (that Josh found at Costco).  We had so much fun, and the smores were delicious!  I think this is going to be a really fun activity for our family throughout the spring & summer.

Attending... book club via Zoom and catching up with my girls.  We discussed this month's book, Sweep, which I read super quick, and really enjoyed. I think it would make a good read aloud book for moms of middle school age kids.

Reading... The Untethered Soul, Who Was King Tut and Anne of Avonlea.  I started listening to Getting The Pretty Back by Molly Ringwald but quit when it started to feel  more like she was preaching at me (and making me feel really ugly and unsophisticated).  Not cool.
Anne of Avonlea has been a lovely escape.  Anne is so full of joy and lightheartedness, but also worldly wisdom, that I find reading her books very fulfilling right now.
Who Was King Tut was a fun, supplemental read for the boys and I.  We are reading The Story of the World, and it touched on King Tut's life, so this little chapter book was the perfect addition to our morning reading.  We got to get a little more info on King Tut's tomb, how it was discovered and what his (very short) life looked like.  My kids love all the "Who Was" books in that series.  We are almost done with the first 'Story of the World' book, and I'm excited to move on to the second one.  We've read all of the first one (years ago in Alaska) and some of the second one. But in March I got the third and fourth used from Powell's and am hoping we get through all four in the series before the fall. (fingers crossed!) I am really enjoying them.

Loving... Jack's freckles & beautiful eyes, and the way Carly pretended to write "gummies" (meaning Paw Patrol fruit snacks) on the grocery list for Josh.  Glad I can still find joy in the little things, even during the hard weeks.

Enjoying... our gorgeous front porch, which Carly has continually been helping Josh with this week. One day she asked where Josh was and I said outside and she said, "Planting WITHOUT me?!?" and ran to put her shoes on.  She is his little shadow, and it's the sweetest thing I ever did see.

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Around Here: Week 3

 Testing... the boys color vision with an easy online test. (And blogging all about it.)

Watching... Carly take her first steps.  It was so exciting.  The boys thought it was the best thing ever.  But every time we tried to capture it on video, she would just stand there.  Silly girl.  We're also watching her scale the walls and get VERY excited when she hears the bath running.  She crawls at lightening speed down the hall and into the bathroom when she hears the water turn on. Smarty!

Feeding... Carly all the foods!  She loves everything and it's so fun to watch her try new things.  This week was lasagna and french bread. She ate every bite!

Wrapping... my mind around the fact that our sweet, precious little girl will be one year old on Tuesday.  It feels impossible that twelve whole months have passed since she joined our family, but on the other hand, I can hardly remember what it was like without her.  She makes all of us laugh everyday and it's going to be so much fun watching her as she grows.

Worrying... about Logan as he had a second seizure this week.  This time we will be following up with an MRI and a meeting with the neurologist.

Succeeding... in giving up swearing for the first time this week (after trying for nearly three weeks & failing everyday!), and loving this inspiring quote:

"Your kids watch you for a living. 

It's their job; it's what they do.  

That's why it's so important 

to try your best 

to be a good role model." 

-James Lehman

Reading... very little this week because #toomanysnowdays!  With the kids home, it felt like all I could do was keep up with laundry & dishes.  Hopefully next week we are back to normal and I get some big things crossed off my to-do list!

Going... stir crazy with the kids home ALL week.  They finally went today, but it was 2 hour late start, so that time just flew right by!  I think they've gone to school four or five days total this month.  The weather has been ridiculous.  Snow, wind, rain & ice... we've had it all!

Admiring... the way the freezing rain looks on all our plants outside.  I took Josh's good camera out and captured some of it-- it's just breathtakingly beautiful.

Missing... Facebook, so I went back.  But my goal is to only check it when I'm nursing Carly.  It was a nice break and good to know I can go without it, but I missed everyone, so I'm happy to be back. :)

Feeling... grateful Josh got the boys out as much as he could during our days stuck at home.  The highlight of all these snow days was definitely having snowball fights with dad.

Trying... my hand at some creative journaling, including making myself a "Bookshelf" to keep track of my 2017 "Read 24 books" goal. It turned out pretty cute and I think I will enjoy keeping it up, which is a bonus.

With worry about Logan heavy on my mind, this quote felt fitting.  I know that God chose me to be the mom of these kids, which means he trusts me to be Logan's caretaker.  It's a huge responsibility, but it makes me proud that God knew I'd be the perfect mom for the job.

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White Flamingos

Aside from the comparing, another frustrating part of parenting twins is dealing with fairness.  While I want to make things fair for them most of the time, other times I think it's important for them to know that life's not fair.  Disappointment is a part of life.  I struggle with wanting to spare them from feeling unfairness, to shelter them a bit, but also with wanting to help them navigate those feelings of injustice when they come up.

It's easy to say the old cliche "life's not fair", even when it's true, but it's another for your mama heart to experience those emotions alongside your child.  When they get what they do want it feels celebration worthy.

One way that those older boys of mine are faced with unfairness everyday is in their colorblindness.  There was a period of time where I had no idea they were colorblind. Then Wyatt started learning (and mastering) his colors, while the twins still struggled.  It was at this point that I realized I could be dealing with the same deficiency my dad has.  Red/green color deficiency, to be specific.  

The twins see color, they just don't see the same spectrum of color that the rest of us do. The best way to explain it (that I've found) is that because of the red/green deficiency, they can't see RED when it's added to things.  Take white, for instance. When you add red, you get pink. My boys can't see pink. They see pink & white as the same color. 

For about two years I didn't know they couldn't see pink. Then we went to the Oregon Zoo and saw the new arrival of flamingos.  Later that afternoon Jack said, "I thought the flamingos would be pink." I told him they were pink and he disagreed vehemently, insisting they were white.  (The flamingos pictured above are the actual birds we saw.)

The other two colors they struggle with are brown and purple. They can see green, but when you add red (resulting in brown) they can't tell.  They can see blue, but when you add red (resulting in purple) they can't tell.  I would give anything to see the paint chip aisle at Home Depot through their eyes.

Growing up I always knew my dad was colorblind. My mom would help him choose outfits for work and I distinctly remember having to help him with this Sesame Street game we had that had blue/purple and yellow/green cards that he couldn't distinguish.  Turns out, the colorblindness isn't only from my dad. His grandfather (his mom's dad) was colorblind, and he passed that X-linked chromosome on to each of his daughters, meaning their sons would have a 50/50 chance of having a son with colorblindness.  From what I've learned of family history, each of those daughters went on to have at least one son who was colorblind (my dad and many of his male cousins). From there, the X-linked chromosome was passed on to their daughters (for example, my sister and me) and our sons have a 50/50 chance of being colorblind. 

Sure enough, my (identical) twins are colorblind, while Wyatt is not. And my sister's younger son is colorblind, while her oldest is not. And from there the genealogy will continue. If our colorblind sons have daughters, they will be carriers, and our great grandsons will have a 50/50 chance of being colorblind. 

If you can't tell, the whole thing fascinates me. 

 Today for fun I had the boys take another color blind test. Wyatt and I took it as well.  The results are in the picture above.  I've never heard the term Deutan, but apparently both the twins are Duetans while Wyatt and I are not.

Below are some of the numbers that Logan & Jack couldn't see and to which they responded "nothing" on the test. 

Some of them shocked me!

It must be so weird for them to know something is there that they can't see. 

Over Christmas break, my boys had the opportunity (thanks Nanny!) to try those colorblind glasses everyone is talking about.  They basically felt the colors were more vibrant, and everything with red in it was more red.  My dad and nephew's cars are both red, one more maroon, and the boys each (without hearing each other) told me that the cars were super bright.  When they are older (and not getting new glasses every year) we will look into getting their glasses coated with the colorblind technology.  I think that'd be so cool for them.

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