little bit sad

 Yesterday was a hard day for me emotionally.
Some days are like that.

Worse than others.

I found myself tired, overwhelmed & sad.

I feel this pressure to make the most of everyday I have Josh here.  I want to hug, kiss & tell him "I love you" over and over. I want to hold his hand, touch his face & drink him in while he is here.  I don't want when  he is gone to second guess whether or not I made the most of our time together.

We are working hard to plan wonderful family memories that the boys can cherish over the next few months.  This week we'll be heading to the coast.  Next weekend we'll be camping with my parents & sister.  The weekend after that is Josh's Farewell.  And we also want to go to the zoo and the wild life safari in Oregon.

Meanwhile, I am also planning for the fall.  I have signed the boys up for two days a week at pre-school, and plan on signing them up for swim lessons as well. I think this will add some structure to our weeks, as well as give me time to run errands and get household chores done sans two three year olds.

My amazing family has already volunteered to help in any way- my sister wants to come over once a week with her son so I can get to the grocery store by myself; my sister-in-law wants to have regular play dates with the boys to give me a break; and my mom has even offered sleepovers when I really need a good, long break.  I am so lucky to have these women around me.

I told Josh last night that Wyatt will be who gets me through this.  He will force me to get out of bed, to run this house, to slow down and enjoy the moments as they pass.  God knew exactly what He was doing in blessing me with this warm, cozy bundle of joy.  And for him, I am grateful.