11.25.2014

Stay-at-home Mommy

This post is a little all over the place-- beautiful parenting moments intermingled with the stuff that makes me pull my hair out.  That's the reality of parenting, I guess.

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The boys love playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii together at the same time.  It's amazing to watch their brains work together. They are a really good team. I couldn't play (and not fight) with someone so well as they do.

On the other hand, the rest of the time, they fight!  Oh Lord do they fight.  Over airplanes, dinosaurs, tiny Legos.  They run and scream and play.  Even their "getting along" is loud. So loud.  

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Wyatt never goes to the bathroom right when he needs to go. Instead he dances around, making me feel that I need to go, and then, at the last possible minute, he runs up, hugging my legs, and tells me has to go!

He refuses to go to the bathroom, whereas I never get to go to the bathroom.  And I never pee alone. Not ever. Last week I finally laid down the law. They are six and three now!  Enough already!  Mommy is allowed bathroom time without the door being unlocked, opened or banged on.  For the love of pete!

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Logan has been cracking me up lately.  He told me today I had a good point.  He also tells me, "I'd like some more as well, mom."  So proper.

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Wyatt is three and a half, and man alive is he challenging.  He is demanding and screams and tantrums if he doesn't get his way. Mostly he tantrums about food, sharing toys & change of plans. It's a struggle for him.  I often find myself at my wits end with him.  Sick of him screaming at his brothers and melting down when my answer doesn't please him...  By bedtime I am through!

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The older two are starting to follow our conversations more, which is dangerous.  We've had to give up spelling things like  L-U-N-C-H because they know how to read now.  The other day Logan asked, "What does apply mean?" When I asked where he had heard "apply" he said, "Daddy told me, that rule doesn't apply to me when I told him you read while you're eating."  They do love to read while they eat. Apple, tree.

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Oh my lord, the worst by far is that EVERYTHING HAS TO BE FAIR. Going potty first, sitting in our laps, choosing stories, helping in the kitchen... Everything has to turn out even, or so help them god, I will hear about it. I finally told them that I will make fair what I can, but the rest of the time, we gotta let it go. Life isn't always going to be fair.

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Making amends:
When I seem stressed out, the boys love playing with my hair or rubbing my back. And Wyatt will ask, "Are you mad at me?"  or he'll say, "I love you, mommy," when I'm grouchy at his brothers.  I love that they are so tender to pick up on my moods.  They are also very quick to apologize when they know I'm frustrated with their behavior. 

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Tonight at bedtime Wyatt called Jack "Spratty", which is my nickname for him. It was so cute. I could tell he was tickled by it because he kept saying it.  At bedtime that little one always wants a drink of water after just getting one in the bathroom.  Drives me nuts, but I always acquiesce.  And after his drink and his prayers, he always asks, without fail, "Will you lay with me for a few minutes?" So I do.  With the loss of daylight here in Alaska, it's dark in their room.  And he falls asleep almost instantly with mommy (or daddy) by his side.

While I'm in there, the twins tend to want me to sing.  I do.  It makes me so happy to sit in that dark room with my sweet, sleepy boys, murmuring lullabies as they drift off.

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Tonight I yelled.  And when I apologized, Logan said, "I give you second chances. I forgive you mom.  Because I love you very much."  I hate that I yelled, but it reminded me of why I don't want to yell, and also that I haven't yelled in a long time. And I'm proud of that.

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As I was writing this post tonight, I saw this post on stay-at-home motherhood by Beth over at "Five Kids is a lot of Kids".  She said, "You have more patience, courage, fortitude, and strength than you know."  I needed to hear that tonight. That what I do here {the good, the bad & the ugly} matters.

It's not an easy job, but I am so grateful it's mine.

3 comments:

kristin hartwig said...

My sister's youngest really doesn't like it when plans change. In first grade he would get on the bus at his sister's school. One day his mom was able to drive him to school instead of to the bus, and he was so upset to find this out at the bus area, by change in routine, that she just let him get on the bus. But if she'd told him about it when they left the house, before getting in the car, he would have been fine with it.
He's also the kid that the Kindergarten teacher would tell subs to ask him what the rules where because of his structure.
And yet he doesn't want to follow rules at home...

Kimberly said...

SO many things in your post are exactly the same at our house!! The noise, the bathroom, tantrums, meltdowns, will you lay with me. LOL It is always nice to hear I'm not the only one!

Laura said...

One thing that helped my two boys is "fair isn't always equal." This seemed to be something they could understand - they didn't like it, but they could understand it! Also wanted to add, and I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but you are exactly what your boys need. You are doing just fine. :-)