Gentle

Last year was the first time I'd ever chosen a word for the year, and the word I chose was, "Linger".  I loved having that word guiding me through the days, weeks & months of 2015, so when it came time to choose a word for 2016, I was excited.

I have decided my Word of the Year will be

GENTLE

I am at a point in my life where I am "on" 24/7.  Mostly, my kids need me.  But other demands also weigh on me. (--homeschooling & bill paying, for example)  It's exhausting.  Currently, Logan is acting out to get my attention and deal with Daddy being gone; Jack is struggling with nightmares, which means nightly visits from him; and Wyatt (along with his raw emotions) is always needing to know where I am, and very hesitant to spend any time apart from me.

The weight of these needs gets heavy quick.  

Remembering to be gentle both with my children and with myself is key.

(My Gentle pinterest board holds all my 2016 inspiration)

In addition to choosing a word for the year, I've also chosen three resolutions.

1.  Increase "good parenting" behavior & control myself!

"The sign of great parenting is not the child's behavior.  
The sign of truly great parenting is the parents behavior." 
-Andy Smithson

I plan to do this by:

A) Reading books-

• Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin
• Mindsight by Dr. Daniel Siegal
• Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham
• Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham
• Boys Should Be Boys by Dr. Meg Meeker

B) Journaling when I mess up-

One of Gretchen Rubin's Personal Commandments is: "Identify the problem."  I believe that in order to make progress in becoming a better, more patient mom (who doesn't yell!) I need to identify the behaviors or situations that lead to me yelling.  Sure, it will be time consuming, but it's better than laying awake at night going over all the ways I was a terrible mother that day.

"Regret cannot fix yesterday's mistakes.
Worry cannot prevent tomorrow's problems.
Just do the best you can today.
Then do the same tomorrow.
That's really all anyone can ever truly ask of themselves, after all."
-L.R. Knost

C) Monitoring my progress-

I will be keeping track of the days I am successful on my calendar.  At the end of a long day, nothing feels better than putting that sparkly star up there to reward myself for being patient, using kind words & not being harsh with the boys.

2. Give up swearing

I want to be a better example to my boys, and I also think that giving up swearing will help me hold my temper, making me a better mom.

And lastly,
3. Lessen Facebook Time

I've thought about quitting altogether, but I'm not at that point yet.  I would, however, like to be more cognizant of the amount of time I waste on there.

***

Inspired by my resolutions, which I shared openly with the boys (who can be three awesome little accountability partners) Jack came up with a list of his own.  How cute is he?!?

Jack's resolutions:

• Not argue with mom
• Not fight with brothers
• Give a brother what they want
• Not break the rules
• Not go downstairs when you do not tell me
• Not wake up mom
• Let mom sleep in more

(The last two, he tells me, were Wyatt's idea)

I've been inspired by my friends Ashley & Tabitha who have each had 100 Small Things lists going the last few years.  I know better than to make a list like that this year while I'm away from my husband and welcoming a new baby into my life... but I was inspired nonetheless to add some things to my year.

Potential Small Things to Work on:

• Daily gratitude journal
• Sing to kids at bedtime
• Set a goal for # of hours outside
• Learn to sew
• Set up an Alaska Teacher Resource Page on the blog
• Reduce screen time for kids
• Establish some kind of Weekly Blog Update? Or Monday Inspiration...
• Unsubscribe from emails cluttering my inbox
• Leave Facebook for a period of time
• Set and keep a bedtime for myself
• Use daily shower time as my established "Worry Time" for the day
• Read one book a month for 2016

What I learned from 2015:

I am about as happy as I choose to be.

Circumstances in my life may change (being pregnant, not being pregnant; living with Josh, not living with Josh) and those may appear to have a huge impact on my happiness, but the truth is that if I let them, things that are significantly much smaller (ie running out of hot water, the boys fighting all the time, bad cell phone service) can make me just as unhappy as the big things.  It's on me to keep perspective through it all, and to choose to find happiness wherever life takes me.

"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation 

but your thoughts about it."

-Eckhart Tolle

And from Ann Voskamp's Instagram,
I answered these questions for fun for the new year:

Embrace-- the chaos.  Breathe anyway.
Engage-- inner peace.  Be the eye of the storm.
Be-- selfless.  Say yes!
Believe-- God will see us through.
Break-- swearing habit.
Daily-- love & hug my kids.
Do-- nothing sometimes.
Let go-- of social media.
Learn-- to sew.
Live-- in the moment.
Give-- love to ALL  my children, especially the twins who are growing up before my eyes.
Grow-- a baby!

***

Do you have new year resolutions?
What are they?
How will you keep motivated?

And what lessons did 2015 teach you?