With the boys turning two in six short weeks, I have been thinking a lot about my experience with them as infants and one-year olds. I have also begun envisioning our future (with more siblings someday) and I find that it is less scary than it was at one point.
I've begun to think lately that perhaps the hardest part of parenting twins is over. When the boys were infants, I really felt out numbered, I felt guilty and I felt sad for them. Yes, being a twin is ultimately a blessing; however that blessing is not without sacrifice. The boys often got half the attention they would have gotten as a singleton. And as the mom, I missed out on a lot of the moments I had envisioned for myself and my baby. I wouldn't change a thing, but I also won't say that this has been easy.
We have lived on the boys' schedule for nearly 700 days now. And I would have to say that while that is sometimes inconvenient, for the most part, it has been a lifesaver. We knew from the beginning that the most important thing we could do for our sanity was have the boys on the same schedule. We did round-the-clock feedings every three hours for THREE MONTHS. Then I was back at work, and the schedule was imperative to keep the boys happy as we bounced them between grandma's during the week, and parents on the weekends. As they approached one year, we were able to get down to one nap, to get rid of bottles (hallelujah!) and they were sleeping more consistently at night. And by the time this school year started (the boys were about 15 months) they were sleeping through the night 12 hours every night. Truly a miracle.
With all those struggles behind us, I would have to say that our biggest challenge right now is keeping Jack & Logan entertained. Sometimes we have timeout issues, but our main headeache is the weather! If it's nice, and we can get out of the house to the park, the boys are so much happier. Worrying about how to play with the kids is such a relief compared to the things I used to worry about. (ie: are the eating enough? why won't they sleep? will logan's belly button hernia need surgery? is jack's pyogenic granuloma really a cancer?) I find that with the boys at this age, I can relate more to moms with, say, a two and four year old, who are having the same issues with one-on-one time, sharing and playing nice. I feel less isolated in my struggle to balance two.
The hard parts of parenting tend to stand out (grocery shopping with two, bathing two splashing, wiggling toddlers, and wishing people understood they may look the same, but are different people), but there are some awesome things about having two kids the same age. The positives of having twins? They already say, "My turn", which means that they will wait for their brother to have his turn. This is amazing to me. They also have incredible empathy, and show unprompted kindness to their brother that warms my heart. I also will admit freely that I enjoy the attention my twins garner. I love when people remind me that I am doubly blessed, or tell me that they don't know how I do it. (I'm not sure how I do it, either, except to say that I have to do it, and I try my darnedest to do it well!)
In short I am happy to report that my struggle over parenting two babies has lessened. I am able to get housework done, spend time with the boys and have time to myself over the course of the weekend. I am working out regularly, getting enough sleep most nights, and am reading for pleasure. These are all things I fantasized about when I was sleeping in two hour blocks of time between feedings a year and a half ago.
I am happy to be where I'm at, and excited about what this summer holds for Josh & I as the parents of two two-year-olds!
Wahoo!
I've begun to think lately that perhaps the hardest part of parenting twins is over. When the boys were infants, I really felt out numbered, I felt guilty and I felt sad for them. Yes, being a twin is ultimately a blessing; however that blessing is not without sacrifice. The boys often got half the attention they would have gotten as a singleton. And as the mom, I missed out on a lot of the moments I had envisioned for myself and my baby. I wouldn't change a thing, but I also won't say that this has been easy.
We have lived on the boys' schedule for nearly 700 days now. And I would have to say that while that is sometimes inconvenient, for the most part, it has been a lifesaver. We knew from the beginning that the most important thing we could do for our sanity was have the boys on the same schedule. We did round-the-clock feedings every three hours for THREE MONTHS. Then I was back at work, and the schedule was imperative to keep the boys happy as we bounced them between grandma's during the week, and parents on the weekends. As they approached one year, we were able to get down to one nap, to get rid of bottles (hallelujah!) and they were sleeping more consistently at night. And by the time this school year started (the boys were about 15 months) they were sleeping through the night 12 hours every night. Truly a miracle.
With all those struggles behind us, I would have to say that our biggest challenge right now is keeping Jack & Logan entertained. Sometimes we have timeout issues, but our main headeache is the weather! If it's nice, and we can get out of the house to the park, the boys are so much happier. Worrying about how to play with the kids is such a relief compared to the things I used to worry about. (ie: are the eating enough? why won't they sleep? will logan's belly button hernia need surgery? is jack's pyogenic granuloma really a cancer?) I find that with the boys at this age, I can relate more to moms with, say, a two and four year old, who are having the same issues with one-on-one time, sharing and playing nice. I feel less isolated in my struggle to balance two.
The hard parts of parenting tend to stand out (grocery shopping with two, bathing two splashing, wiggling toddlers, and wishing people understood they may look the same, but are different people), but there are some awesome things about having two kids the same age. The positives of having twins? They already say, "My turn", which means that they will wait for their brother to have his turn. This is amazing to me. They also have incredible empathy, and show unprompted kindness to their brother that warms my heart. I also will admit freely that I enjoy the attention my twins garner. I love when people remind me that I am doubly blessed, or tell me that they don't know how I do it. (I'm not sure how I do it, either, except to say that I have to do it, and I try my darnedest to do it well!)
In short I am happy to report that my struggle over parenting two babies has lessened. I am able to get housework done, spend time with the boys and have time to myself over the course of the weekend. I am working out regularly, getting enough sleep most nights, and am reading for pleasure. These are all things I fantasized about when I was sleeping in two hour blocks of time between feedings a year and a half ago.
I am happy to be where I'm at, and excited about what this summer holds for Josh & I as the parents of two two-year-olds!
Wahoo!
1 comment:
You've given me hope--I long for the days I can actually read a book! I feel like most days I am in survival mode, but you're right in that I still love it.
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