One Last Hurrah!

{Summer 2018}

{Check out that lump! Poor Wyatt fell jumping in the pool and knocked the back of his head!}

Cherishing these memories from two summers ago more than ever now that we don't know what this summer will look like. 

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For the month of June, 

I will be writing everyday 

(along with my friend Tabitha!) 

and attempting to empty out my dashboard 

(and my brain-hah!). 

I hope you'll follow along. 

It should be fun!

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Week 18 Around Here {2019}

Taking... care of sick kids all week.  It started with Logan over the weekend, and has moved through the entire family since then.  It's hit Wyatt the hardest, leaving him with a double ear infection and on a round of oral steroids.  He hasn't had to go on oral steroids since the fall, and I am disappointed to see him on them again.  But his regular regimen of treatments wasn't working.
Even Carly got pretty sick by the end of the week. Even throwing up from coughing so hard, poor girl.
Having Wyatt home sick wasn't all bad this week, though, as I love seeing him and Carly play and snuggle together.  They love to lay in my bed and watch PJ Masks, to play in the backyard on the trampoline and to read books together on the couch.  I love their little bond.

Feeling... loved and seen when I found a picture Wyatt had taken of me asleep on the couch as he played on my phone while doing a middle-of-the-night treatment.  Being a mom is so hard, and not so glamorous most of the time, but we always carry on, because that's what we were made for.

Getting... results from Wyatt's MRI and feeling quite puzzled.  His primary care physician said the finding on it (a cyst on his pineal gland) is purely an incidental finding and we don't even know what the pineal gland does.  So I left the appointment feeling disappointed to not have any answers about Wyatt's headaches & insomnia, but also relieved that nothing serious is wrong with his brain.
But I couldn't believe there was a part of the brain we know nothing about, so I did a little research and found that actually the pineal gland is known for producing melatonin and modulating circadian rhythms (aka: controlling sleep) and that if you have a cyst on it that has symptoms, the symptom is most likely headache.
Which are the two symptoms Wyatt has been suffering since February.

So I have put in a call for a referral to neurology so we can discuss further options for him.  If his symptoms continue to worsen, the solution could be as serious as brain surgery.  Prayers for him as we move forward would be very (very) welcome. 

Testing... the twins in school this week and praying they try their very best.  Testing has not been their strong suit (they tend to rush) and we really want to see what they are actually capable of.

Bribing... them to do well on said tests with blizzards from Dairy Queen if they tried their hardest and get good reports from their teachers. #bestparentingmove #nailingit #hah

Reading... Miracle Creek, The Midwife of Hope River, Verity and The Reluctant Midwife.  I finished The Midwife of Hope River and Miracle Creek this week, both of which were very good.  Miracle Creek was a bit of a mystery (a fire was set- who set it!? and a trial ensues) and The Midwife of Hope River was an audio book that I enjoyed listening to very much after watching Call The Midwife all last week on Netflix.
Then I started The Reluctant Midwife (#2 in the series) which was even better than the first audio book, and reading Verity, which I borrowed from the library.  Verity is the most disturbing book I have read in a long time.  I actually gasped out loud multiple times as I read this one and I did not see the end coming.

Choosing... four books for The Inspired Readers Book Club to read this summer.
We will be reading:
That Kind of Mother by Rumaan Alam for May.
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett for June
The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand for July
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid for August

We would love to have you join us- just click the link above to find The Inspired Readers Book Club on Facebook and request to join.

Picnicking... in the front yard with Wyatt & Carly at her insistence one afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day, and I am so glad we did it.  Especially because my friend Jolene happened to drive by and then stopped to join us.  It was so lovely to visit with her and enjoy the day.

Walking... two afternoons once Josh was home to relieve my stress, and oh, how lovely those walks were.  Usually this time of year, I am walking the kids to and from school, which ends up being over an hour of walking (there and back, and there and back) totaling three miles distance, but with Wyatt sick, I have been stuck indoors all week, so walking those two afternoons was just what the doctor ordered and felt amazing.

Eating... dinner outside as well, enjoying the spring weather.  The kids really love eating outside, and even though it's so much work to move everything outside, I am always glad when we do because being outside makes us all happier.

 Enjoying... Mike's Hard Peach Lemonade.  I've never had that kind, and I really love it!

Amazed... at how long Carly's hair is getting.  I remember when I could barely get two pig tails, and now I can braid it and all kinds of stuff with it. It's so much fun!  She loves choosing "hair pretties" everyday.

Irritated... with Ramona (our cat) who keeps escaping the house.  Every time a door opens, she is ready to dash out and we are all worried she's going to get lost or hurt.  Thus far, she has always come home, but I hate it nonetheless.  One afternoon I got home from walking to find her in a box by the garbage cans.  She's such a funny little thing.

Watching... Brene Brown's Netflix Special on courage.  It makes me want to be such a careful parent, and to teach my kids that the opposite of belonging is fitting in.  None of us should change who we are to be with others.  Embrace who God made you!
She also says if I want more love and intimacy and joy, I must let myself be seen.  Vulnerability is the path back to each other.  (Gah, so good, but so hard!)
When she mentioned that we're terrified to feel joy and often dress rehearse tragedy in the midst of it, I felt like she was standing in my living room accusing me personally.  Ha!  You got me, Brene!  Since watching the show, I am trying to catch myself when I am enjoying a happy moment and switch over to "I better enjoy this because at any moment I could lose all of this."  I don't want fear to steal my joy anymore.
And finally, here's the quote that's been running through my head since watching it:

"Vulnerability is having 

the courage 

to show up 

when you don't know 

or control 

the outcome."

-Brene Brown

Loving... Wyatt's ability to focus and stack things.  He will spend hours just working on stacking things (currently he enjoys stacking Matchbox cars), seeing how many he can do.  I love his tenacity and stick-to-a-tive-ness.  This week in addition to cars, he also stacked Lego Duplo bricks floor to ceiling in our dining room.  He's out of this world!

Great advice for me:

 

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Week 15 Around Here {2019}

Loving... how God gives me hugs in the form of sunrises and sunsets.  This week it was the most spectacular sunrise that had our sky turning pink & purple and looking more like a watercolor and less like real life.  It was stunning, and took my breath away.

Squeezing... the last bit of fun out of Spring Break by renting Bumblebee for the kids for movie night and letting Wyatt have his friend over for pizza & cookies with us, and having my sister and her crew come over for the day Sunday.  The kids had fun together and I fell even more in love with my little niece.  She came over to me with her lovey blanket and cuddled in my lap on the couch and I seriously MELTED.  Oh how I love that little lady!

Preparing... for the week ahead by cleaning house with the kids Sunday evening and grocery shopping with Carly on Monday.

Struggling... to get back in the swing of things after Spring Break despite my preparation & good intentions.  We got out of our routine (read: had fun) over spring break and getting back on schedule (read: going to bed on time) was really hard all.week.long!  This struggle lead to some really rough mornings.  My tiredness coupled with the rain and some serious tween attitudes forced me to take some really deep breaths.  There were SO many fights to break up that one morning they found themselves grounded for the day because of their behavior.

Choosing... eye glasses for Carly who saw the eye doctor for the first time this week and is far sighted with a severe astigmatism, just like her three brothers before her.  Her prescription is not quite as strong as Logan's, which is a +5. something, but stronger than Jack's, falling at +3.5 Rx.  She looks ridiculously cute in her glasses.  I can't wait for them to get in with her lenses ready.
They had to dilate her eyes pretty severely so her pupils were huge for two whole days, and I joked that if she had asked for a unicorn I'd have gone out looking for one. Thankfully I had found a pair of tiny pink sunglasses on sale at Walmart earlier this week.  She put them to good use those two days.
Even though all three of our boys have bad vision, I don't think I had prepared myself for the idea that she would need glasses.  I was a bit in denial that we produce children with bad vision, I guess.  Luckily she's excited to match the brothers and I think she'll be adorable in them.
We also chose new glasses for Logan & Jack after their annual eye appointments this week.  I am so grateful for our awesome local eye doctor's office- the doctor and everyone on his staff is so great.  They fix the boys' glasses when they break, help us choose good glasses that tend to come with the best warrantees (because they know they will be seeing us soon with broken glasses in hand) and are so kind & engaged with my kids.

Reading... The Life You Longed For, which was slow to start, but then really good (& interesting- about Munchausen by proxy, so creepy!) and also Queenie, which I still haven't gotten totally into.  Meh.
I also listened to the rest of My Year of Rest and Relaxation, which was bizarre, but totally entertaining, and Lousiana's Way Home, which is a middle-grade read by Kate DiCamillo and is a sweet, short read.
Receiving my Book of the Month order, containing three books I can't wait to read!  This month I ordered Normal People by Sally Rooney, Miracle Creek by Angie Kim and Lost and Wanted by Nell Freudenberger.  If I can't get myself into Queenie, I may just jump into one of these next!

Thankful... that when Wyatt gets sick it doesn't produce in me the same anxiety that it used to.  We know so much more now, and we have the right mix of meds to keep him out of the hospital and off of oral steroids, both of which feel like miracles.  Every time he gets sick, I never cease to be grateful that the nebulizer does what it's supposed to (we use albuterol & budesonide in it 2x daily when he's sick) and it keeps us from having to be seen and keeps him from getting worse.  Hearing him cough doesn't send me off into a panic like it used to.  I never imagined that could happen.  What a blessing.

Smiling... about my new haircut.  It's been six months since I started Monat, and about eight months since most of my hair fell out, following a really stressful period of parenting Wyatt through a bout of bad asthma and Logan through a period of severe seizures that were uncontrolled by medication. I am taking some strong vitamins as well as biotin, plus using Monat shampoo (Black & Renew) and conditioner (Revitalize) everyday as well as their Replenish hair mask weekly, Rejuvenique hair oil twice a month, and Intense Repair Treatment & Rejuvabeads Split End Mender daily.  At first it felt like a lot, but my girl Haverlee assured me that in the end it would all be worth it. And thus far, she's been right.
I've been keeping it shorter since it started falling out, and this most recent haircut has me actually feeling like it's getting better.  I am so excited!  It's so true that you don't know what you got till it's gone.  I totally took my "good" hair for granted.  I actually envy Carly's messy bun. Hah!  But hopefully not for long.

Rolling... right into baseball season with practice every day of the week for either the twins or Wyatt's team.  It's crazy, but it's also kind of our favorite.  Plus it has meant Uncle Samuel is around more because he is helping Josh coach the twins' team, and that is everyone's favorite.  He makes us smile more and laugh harder.  Carly is especially in love with him.  He always says yes to reading a story or a playing a game with her, and it makes her so happy.  It's the most precious little relationship, watching her light up when he gets here.

Confirming... with our amazing orthodontist that Wyatt does need a spacer for his tiny little palate/nasal area.  It turns out he has a deviated septum, which makes it very hard to be a nose breather, which is what everyone should be.  If we can put a spacer in his mouth, spreading his palate a little wider, it will also give his nose a little more "room to breathe" (pun intended) and will allow him to breathe through his nose despite his deviated septum.

Impressed... by Carly's ability to draw things.  A few weeks ago she started drawing faces, and now her faces have legs and arms and sometimes hair.  Then earlier this week she drew a whale.  She's only three and I'm kind of blown away by her talent.

Momming... so hard this week.  You guys.  Sometimes I think that maybe we shouldn't be the ones who decide how many kids we have.  Like, when I had Carly, parenting the other three was relatively easy.  But now? Now that hormones are involved? Oh sweet baby Jesus, hold me.
I am parenting so hard that most days I can barely get into my pajamas at bedtime.  I forget things, I am constantly running late, I resolve to be patient, lose my temper, resolve to be patient again.  Lose my temper. Again. Sigh.
We are working with the kids on problem solving with our words instead of our bodies (there is seriously so.much.fighting with three brothers born within three years); teaching how to wash our bodies completely in the shower now that none of the boys are bathed by mom or dad; and how to choose the right friends to hang around. (Why is being "cool" so cool?)
They never stop moving, never sleep, never shut up.  (For reals. Is there even that much to talk about? There can't be. And yet.) They wake me up at least twice a night for nightmares, anxiety or imaginary ailments.  I am always so flipping tired.
But also, being with them, hearing their thoughts at bedtime as I tuck them in, rubbing their backs as I sing them a song from JJ Heller's lullaby album, it's like my church.  They are my devil and my redeemer.  They are my savior and what I need rescuing from.  Children's books read out loud in their beds, piled high with blankets & stuffed animals, followed by hugs, kisses and snuggles? That's my church.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  But some weeks, I'll tell you, I am putting in the WORK. And this was one of those weeks.

And since... laughter is good medicine, here's something funny I read this week about mom sleep.  "It's like regular sleep, but without the sleep." 
It's funny cause it's true.
#dying

Heartwarmed... when I went to plug in the twins' cell phones and found they both had Carly's picture as their lock screens.  They may fight with each other, and drive me CRAZY, but they are amazing big brothers, and they love her like nothing in this world.  She's so lucky to have them.

***

Next week, I am going to try to get on top of my self care.

• 1) Go to bed on time
• 2) Wake up before the kids
• 3) Working out in some fashion everyday
• 4) Take time to read 
• 5)  Journal something each night

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