Our Sristmas Tree

 The boys were very excited to get our own Christmas Tree (or Sristmas Tree, as they say) since my mom has had hers up for a while and they LOVE it!  Unfortunately our plans for decorating it were postponed by Jack's Emergency Room visit last weekend, so our tree lay on our walkway until Monday night. Then it sat, undecorated in this corner, until Tuesday night when I was able to rally enough to decorate it. The boys kept asking for me to "turn it on!" before we had decorated. I had to explain it doesn't grow with lights... Mommy & Daddy have to string them on.

Their favorite ornaments are:

Skateboarding Bart Simpson

&

one we have from A Christmas Story of Ralphie trying on his pink rabbit pajamas. You can push this one and it says several different quotes from the movie.
The boys ask every morning for me to turn the tree on and when we are driving they look around, searching for Sristmas lights on the houses.  It's so adorable.

I was happy to have our box of Christmas decorations since this year we are unable to do any shopping.  At least I can use what we have to make the house look festive and cheerful, even if we can't spoil our loved ones like I'd like to!

sick... again

The boys are exactly two & a half today. 

They've been in my life 30 months.

And if you're wondering-

Yes, they are two year olds.

And true to form, there are tantrums.

Oh and today did we have tantrums. 

Logan was probably in timeout over 20 times today.

And that was probably half as many times as he deserved.

But none of us are feeling well, so I tried to cut him some slack.

We are all sick... again.

It started last Tuesday with Jack.

He had pink eye.

Two days later, Logan had pink eye.

Then there was the typical runny noses,

coughs, fevers & crabbiness.

Then on Saturday we went to get our Christmas tree,

and when Josh got home from visiting his mom

with the boys, we noticed Jack had a rash.

It was all over his torso & face.

It was moving around, and so itchy.

He was miserable,

and I was freaking out.

So we headed to the ER.

Turns out he has a double ear infection 

{the worst one the doctor had ever seen}

and a virus causing high fever & rash.

He was terrified (terrified!) of the nurses & doctor,

and I (his mother!) forgot.to.bring.his.bubba.

That's right. 

I packed TWO bubbas for Logan who stayed with my mom, 

but forgot to pack one for the kid who was going to the EMERGENCY ROOM.

The doctor gave Jack Tylenol, Motrin, Benadryl & Amoxicillin.

And I gave myself the "Worst Mom Ever" Award.

I had thought he had an ear infection last week,

but since he had just been in to see the doctor on Tuesday,

I assumed I was wrong.

Never doubt your Mommy Intuition.

Ever.

That's, like, Rule Number One!

 So Sunday I felt like Logan & I should be seen.

Off to Urgency Care.

We got lucky, and there was no wait.

Unfortunately, there was also no diagnosis.

No ear infections, and no strep.

The doctor just said it'd be about five to seven days until we get better.

That's an eternity!!!

We have been sick at least once a month since school started,

and I am done.

I am ready to get out of my first trimester,

get done with this nausea,

and stop being sick!

And this whole "entire family's sick" thing,

it's awful!

If I was well, or the boys were well (and sleeping)

then maybe I could cope.

But with all of us miserable,

it's ugly.

Today has been a blur of pushing liquids, giving Tylenol & Motrin doses on an alternating schedule to keep the fevers under control, doing eye drops, remembering Amoxicillin, and checking torsos for the rash, which continues to come & go and requires Benadryl to keep the boys from scratching.

There were three sunshiny parts to my day today:

1. My sister posted an inspirational song for me

on her blog...

{thanks, sistah! i love you}

2. Juli Adelman {biggest sweetheart ever!}

dropped off dinner including pizza, a salad, a gift card

and a chocolate pudding pie

with {homemade} crust.

I will neither confirm nor deny eating 

half of it after the boys fell asleep...

3. Then as I was putting away clothes in my room,

Jack was in the hallway with Sukie.

She was meowing and he said to her,
"Sukie, what you mowwin' about?"

So adorable.

And I'm thankful for those.

Christmas Tree Hunting

{Logan & Jack}

 This year we headed back to Thornton's Treeland to get our Christmas tree. They have a petting zoo, a barn the kids thought was really cool, a hay ride and all kinds of trees to choose from.  We love it!

 Logan especially loved the bunnies this year. He recently got a Fur Real pet bunny from my mom (it sleeps, wakes up, and sniffs around- it's adorable) so he was super happy to see the real rabbits.

 {Logan}

The boys' adorable hats are a super find from Grandma Carol.

We love them!

 The boys enjoyed feeding the goats hay.

 {Jack}

My mom already has her tree up and decorated, so the boys were super excited to get our own tree and put lights up on it.

 {Logan, Daddy & Jack}

We were lucky with the weather. Clear skies and just a bit of wind.  And this year the boys got to traipse along like big boys- no backpacks & no strollers.  It was awesome!

 {Jack, Mommy & Logan}

Say, "Cheese!"

The hay ride was completely uneventful, but the boys loved every second anyway.

 -

Unfortunately, our camera batteries died before we could snap a picture of our tree, so you will have to wait until we have it up & decorated to see it. :)

hope and a good future?

 I can't believe how little I have been blogging lately. 

There are a few things to blame for this: 

One is this pregnancy. I am nauseous all the time. It's 24/7 nausea and it's miserable.  I am a little over 12 weeks now and I was hoping I would wake up last Sunday and voila! The nausea would be gone... No such luck.  Instead it is lingering. I never throw up. I don't really believe in throwing up.  But the nausea is enough to keep me feeling pretty low.

And also, I am exhausted. I am so tired, but can never sleep due to back pain and two sleepless toddlers.  My lower back aches all day, everyday.  I'm not sure what the deal is, but it's quite miserable.  And our boys, well, they are waking up in the night again, trying to be 'up for the day' at 3:30am, and are fighting falling asleep at bedtime. Tonight Logan took an hour a half to fall asleep. How am I supposed to get everything done when he's not asleep until 8:30pm and one or the other of them is up before 4:00am?

Another is my stress level. Things around here are just... Well... there are no words. Tiresome, I guess. We both feel like we are living Groundhogs Day over & over again.  We wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, just to wake up and do it all over again the next day. We're completely broke, feeling depressed, and having a bit of a pity party lately. I guess we both just thought that at this point, Josh would have a full time job, a classroom all his own, and I would be home, taking care of our boys myself. We thought, naively, that all our dreams would come true.

And on top of all that, things at work have been super stressful. First Lisa D. left, then we had two long-term subs, and finally another coworker took the position and I was super excited to work with her. Turned out the classroom did not suit her, and she ended up going back to her old position, which means I am back to having a sub, (who is awesome!) but which means at some point I am going to have a new hire to train. Ugh. And on top of all that, our classroom teacher is out for three weeks, so I am basically in charge at work, and this is so not what I need work to be right now. I need work to be simple.  And I need work to stay at work. But instead I am stressing about it (all the time) and can't get it (and a lot of other things) off my mind.

~

I have cried everyday for the last four days. 

I just want to be at home. I want to be the one feeding the boys lunch, laying them down for naps, and snuggling them as they wake up. I want to be the one reading to them, taking them on adventures and kissing their boo-boo's. Is this too much to ask? I've been doing this whole working-mom thing for nearly three years now. I'm done. I need to be done.  I start to feel claustrophobic. Like I'm stuck in this situation that I can't get out of. I'm like Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs, stuck in some three feet by three feet crevice while cleaning the mechanic parts of a windmill, and wishing I was anywhere but here.

~

After having all these thoughts go through my head... the reasons I have for my fabulous pity-party, I stop. I take stock of my life.  And God, in His infinite wisdom, gives me a little perspective. And in His grace, forgives me for forgetting.

I am blessed.

I am able to work.

I am able to bring home a paycheck.

Together, Josh and I are able to pay the bills.

Maybe we can't buy all we want, but so far we have been able to purchase all that we need.

My children are healthy.

My marriage is healthy.

I am, in the big scheme of things, one lucky girl.

But it's hard not to long for more.

It's hard not to ache, daily, for more time with those boys.

It's hard not to want Josh's hard work to pay off.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a good future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Lord, help me remember that in these seemingly dark days.

{twenty-eight}

 My birthday was November 18th and I am officially 28 now.

We had a lovely dinner with my parents & sister at my mom's house.

It was a great birthday and I am hoping 28 holds wonderful things for me.

 {Jack & Aunt Roxanne}

 {Logan & Aunt Roxanne}

 {Logan with mommy}

 {Jack with mommy}

 The boys were very excited to help me open presents.

 I got a new diaper bag, Tea Tree Shampoo (my favorite!), 

a purse, pj's, a silver colander, Lavender bubble bath (yum!)

and a collection of handsoaps from Bath & Body Works.

 I am particularly excited about the colander as the

old one I had was a plastic one from Dollar Tree

from when we got married seven and a half years ago!

 We had to keep one eye on Logan at all times...

He was ready to dig into that cake!

The boys watched anxiously for me to blow out my candles

and make a wish.

Bet you can guess what I wished for.

a trip down memory lane...

 November 2008

{5 months}

 November 2009

{one & a half}

November 2010

{two & a half}

I'm Grateful...

for these guys.

I am grateful that they arrived healthy in the world and have stayed that way.

I am grateful that they have each other.

I am grateful that they are so beautiful.

I am grateful that they bring me such joy.

And I am grateful that they force me to live in the moment.

I love you, boys.

I really do.

 

It's a.....

SINGLETON!!!!

And we couldn't be more thrilled!

I had my first appointment today with my actual OB and she agreed to give us a quick ultrasound since we already got a two-for-one deal, as she put it, and were curious about this pregnancy. We snuck into the ultrasound room and she put that warm gel all over my belly. As soon as she put the wand on my abdomen we could see one little baby dancing around in there. She looked up, down and all around and we only came up with one little babe in there. I am so relieved. I guess I didn't realize how much I was on pins and needles waiting to find out if it was going to be multiples again.  The baby was kicking its little feet- piggies & all- and was holding its hand up by its forehead-- so adorable.  It was exciting to see the baby, watch its little heart flutter on the screen and confirm that he/she is a lonely only. The doctor also said, unofficially, that it's probably a girl. She said since I suffered little to no nausea with my twin pregnancy and am suffering all.the.time with this one, it's likely a girl. She said girl pregnancies cause more extreme nausea than boy pregnancies. At this point, I don't even care- I am just so happy it's ONE this time.

boys update

 It's been a while since I really updated you all on the boys. So here is a hodge podge post of pictures from the last few weeks, depicting what adorable things they've been up to.

They've become firetruck repairmen.

Working together to get the job done.

Everyone knows you need a good shop to work on your cars, and apparently the scrapbook table is perfect. (No creeper necessary.)

-

This new phase of independent play, where they play either together or separately for some period of time with little to no adult intervention is so exciting! We recently got them play-doh and that has expanded their attention spans as well. They will play for up to a half an hour. The perfect amount of time for me to get dinner started! We are LOVING it!

-

Jack has become a le cordon bleu chef.

His baby has enjoyed many delectable meals such as this up in Jack's booster seat.

(Jack put him there all by himself. So cute!)

Logan has taught himself to read, starting small with his Thomas' Big Storybook (which is 6 books in 1.)

 He sits atop the scrapbook table (when the "auto repair shop" is closed) reading the day away.

 He enjoys not only reading, but also studying the pictures.

 He's quite the little professor.

The other day I found this monster truck Logan got from Nanny stuffed full of his snack. There were pieces in the driver and passenger seats and a few in the bed of the truck.  He is so funny with his cars.

Jack has been recently drafted by the Green Bay Packers.  They haven't sent his official gear yet, so he's been practicing with his grocery store basket helmet.

He holds the handle in his mouth like a mouth guard and throws the football to Josh.  It is so adorable!

This one I just had to share.

Look at that post-nap hair!!!

 Lately (like, for the last four weeks) the boys have been waking up at 5am. It is brutal. I mean, it would suck even if I wasn't ten weeks pregnant. But I am ten weeks pregnant. So it is especially painful.

They will knock and knock on their door (it's child proofed on the inside) until I get up and let them out, after which they say to me cheerfully, "I waked up, Mommy!" Like they want a gold star or something!

 One good thing about waking up early with them is that we spend a lot of time snuggling and watching "voovies" (movies) together. They love that.

 Last weekend Josh moved the basketball hoop back inside the house.

 It has provided endless hours of entertainment.

 They dribble, shoot hoops and will throw just about any toy into the net to see what happens. 

But the best basketball hoop adventure was when I went to sweep a few days after it was brought inside and found four slugs and one tiny snail tucked cozily into a little nook on the bottom of the stand.  They boys were enthralled! Me, not so much.

A new favorite in the Cunningham household is Toy Story Three, which the boys indicate by holding up FIVE fingers emphatically.  They love Woody & Buzz the most, of course, and have their little action figures. Logan likes to have his go night-night in the bathtub in his washcloth. It's so cute to watch him bundle them up and tell them "No jumping!"

Jack's new funny thing that I tell everyone is that he doesn't know the word "mine". So when I give something (like a snack) to Logan, he asks, "Where's me's, Mommy?" 

Or when Logan takes a truck that Jack was playing with, he screams, "LOGAN! THAT'S ME'S! THAT'S ME'S!" We have been trying to teach him "That's mine", but to no avail.

{ Logan }

 You can just tell he's cracking up in this one.

I love it!

A new favorite book at our house is "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer for obvious reasons.  The boys particularly like this page.

 Jack's "funniest face ever",

& Logan's "funniest face ever".

I have had a rough go of it the last few weeks, worrying about money, a job for Josh, my health, the boys' health, the baby's health, Josh's health (shoot- we've all been sick!) the holidays, my disgusting mess of a house... not to mention the 24/7 nausea that Cunningham #3 is bestowing upon me. I have been a wreck. 

But I do find moments amid the chaos to stop; enjoy the boys; and be grateful for what I do have. Which is a loving husband (who is also a fantastic father) and two beautiful (albeit exhausting!) sons.