Last night I was reading my friend Tabitha's day-in-the-life post and something clicked for me. The realness of her everyday, the honesty in her admission that along with moments of joy, there are moments of defeat, had me remembering a quote I read earlier this week.
Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another,
"What? You, too? I thought I was the only one."
-C.S. Lewis
That quote along with Tab's openness combined made me want to share with you the struggles I'm having right now, in the hopes that it will make you feel less alone in yours.
I am struggling to keep the boys in bed until the light turns green at 6:30am. Yesterday the twins were up at 5am. Earlier this week, all three were up at 6:10am. Other days one or the other of the twins will wake up and come downstairs during my quiet time.
I am struggling to minimize my time on Facebook. I don't really have a solution to this problem, and that bothers me even more. I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I am considering removing it from my phone, but let's be honest-- I'm home all day, everyday, and my laptop is right here.
I am struggling with missing out on so many things that are coming up. My best friend from childhood is expecting her first baby, a girl (!), and I am going to miss the baby shower. My nephews are both having birthdays next month, and we will miss their party. It's fall, and the pumpkin patches are opening up, and we won't be making those memories with loved ones. It's hard. In the past it hasn't been this hard. I am struggling with that.
I am struggling with letting my kids be loud. I wish the noise level didn't effect me, but it does. Everyday it's a battle between letting them be kids, and keeping the house at a sound level I'm comfortable with.
I am struggling to find a system that works for trading out the boys' toys. I have large bins that we switch out of their bedroom closet and into the playroom. But every time I think about switching them out I get overwhelmed. It's silly, though, because when they are reunited with their old toys, they are more cooperative & play for extended periods without fighting.
The last thing I am struggling with is getting any projects accomplished that are not part of my everyday. Doing laundry & dishes & making meals are a part of my daily fabric, so they are (somewhat) easily accomplished. But the big stuff? Like organizing craft & holiday projects for homeschool? Or re-doing the pantry now that we've gotten our Span order? Or starting/finishing the boys' scrapbooks? Yep, all on the back burner as I strive to do homeschool, spend quality time with the kids & continue not yelling.
It helps me to know that in a week or two, these struggles will likely shift or change into new & different struggles. But in the meantime, I am stuck. Stuck with loud, sleep deprived children playing with boring toys while I waste hours on Facebook, missing my family, surrounded by unfinished projects.
sigh.
"I think we all strive to push ourselves to overcome our struggles.
And when we do, we get to know ourselves better."
-Ann Bancroft
5 comments:
The glass is half full. You have 3 beautiful, healthy boys. What we wouldn't give to have two.
Love your honesty!! I think moms are bound to feel the guilt of not being able to get things done. :-( I too have way too many projects just waiting! (I just FINALLY ordered my boys' 2 year pics... they are three!! Better late than never!) I guess all we can do it celebrate the finishing of each one, even if it took a whole lot longer than we meant it too! You are doing a fabulous job, and your number 1 priorities (your family) are being loved! That is most important!
I love that you posted this. It's so important to be frank. Everyone struggles, every day! It's part of being human.
Your comments about Facebook and about keeping the house clean really resonated with me. I'm living in a bush village of 200 right now and miss the connections that I had with my friends in a bigger city. Therefore, I spend more time on Facebook than I'd like. Facebook is great for quick messages and seeing fun photos, but using it as a tool for genuine connection only leads to a deeper loneliness. As for the cleaning, finding a cleaning schedule that fits within my work schedule can be tricky! I hate coming home to a dirty house, so finding a schedule that works is definitely on my to-do list this month.
Thanks again for sharing. It's such a relief to know that I'm not the ONLY person struggling! ;)
♡ Natalie of LIVE TEACH ALASKA
Such is life....I feel like it's always something.....And not feeling alone in it is such a gift.
Honey, I struggle with you missing these events as well, but along with that is guilt - because I can go.
Please know that we miss you all so much!
Great post Shelly and thanks for the shout-out. I really do feel like we are friends and frequently tell my family about 'my friend Shelly..ya know from Alaska' and all your stories and inspiring life moments. Oh, internet - thanks for bringing us together.
you are so amazing writing everyday- btw - seriously loving getting updates from you so regularly. well done! xxxoox sending love and patience to you!
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