Week 1 Around Here {2019}

Hahah! #truth

New hair growth mohawk

Josh & his baby sister Margaret

Top Nine Reads of 2018

Our new bathroom!

Unexpected Good Reads

Reading... As Bright As Heaven, which I got from Book of the Month, and Girl, Wash Your Face which I bought myself for my birthday with money I got from my grandma back in November.  As Bright as Heaven is about the Spanish Flu in Philadelphia, and is such a good book!  I really like it.  And Girl, Wash Your Face is a very inspiring, "pump-you-up" read.  I am doing a chapter a day, and it's keeping me very motivated to work on my goals for the new year. Love it!

Meditating... daily using the "Calm" app on my iphone.  It costs (I think I paid around $40 for a yearly subscription) but it is so worth it. I use it when I am having a panic attack, or when I need to fall asleep and my mind is racing. One of my goals this year is to meditate everyday (even if it's just two minutes) so having access to this app is really helpful.  I'm currently doing "21 Days of Calm" which is a different meditation each day, along with helpful advice about how to better stay on top of your emotions. I am loving it.

Sharing... my top 9 books of 2018 on social media, and also sharing my most unexpected good reads of 2018.  I would love to know in the comments what your favorite or most unexpected reads of 2018 were! (follow me on Instagram for more book posts!)

Ecstatic... over Josh and my brother-in-law finishing the main bathroom remodel.  Those two are machines, and I cannot get over how amazing the bathroom looks. It's truly unbelievable. It's also unbelievable that they accomplished what they did in less than two weeks.

Relishing... every minute of a nap Carly spent in my arms.  I can't remember the last time she slept in my arms, so rocking her in her in the rocking chair as she slept while the boys were off with Josh one afternoon felt like a dream come true.  Oh, my sweet baby. sigh.

Enjoying... a Christmas visit from my parents.  They came bearing gifts (holy adored grandchildren!!!) and we had so much fun together!  We went out to eat, went swimming at their hotel, and then bathed Carly in their room since she hadn't had a bath in quite some time with the bathroom remodel happening at our house!  The next day they came over and we played Headbanz, or at least we tried to.  Carly looks at what is on your card, tells you what it is, "Bacon!" and then yells, "You win!" Hahah! After that, they took us all out to eat and then took the boys ice skating!

Loving... the pictures that Julie sent me of Josh and his baby sister Margaret. I always think that Carly looks just like me when I was little (and she does in some pictures) but goodness sakes! Looking at these pictures of Josh as a toddler made me realize that Carly looks a lot like her daddy as well!

Relaxing... for an entire day when Josh took the boys out to his parents land to ride their four wheelers (they got four wheelers for Christmas from Santa!) and I got to spend the day at home with Carly.  I took a bath in our new tub, cleaned the house, read my book, and just enjoyed the peace & quiet.  It was so, so lovely.

Organizing... my "To Read" shelf in the living room and discovering I have 100 books I haven't read.  I couldn't believe I had 100 exactly!  From there, I set a goal of reading 1 book per week this year, so my (conservative) goal is to read 52 books.  But here's the catch- I can't buy any more books this year (barring any from Book of the Month. I am going to allow myself to continue that monthly subscription) so those 52 have to come from my shelves or my library app on my phone (where I listen to audio books).  I hope to surpass that goal, but I also want to enjoy reading, not feel pressure to just fly through books.  I definitely felt that at times last year.  What is your goal this year? Do you have a # in mind?

Growing... my hair back after it all fell out in September after the stress of caring for Wyatt in the spring.  I got on some strong vitamins in October and also started using Monat and am definitely seeing strong growth, but it means that 90% of the time, it looks like I have a tiny mohawk. Ugh. Not cool.  But I know that in another month or two, that will improve (the same thing always happened to me when I had babies) and my hair will be thick again someday.
Using the Monat does take some time- I have to wash my hair twice everyday in the shower, but I can feel the difference in how clean & strong it is.  I also put in the oil treatment overnight once a week, and use lots of product after my shower before I blow dry, but I am really trusting Haverlee that it will all be worth it when my hair fully grows in and is even healthier than before.  I seriously cannot wait.
Between my suddenly terrible adult acne and my ridiculously thin hair, I feel so self conscious these days.

***

I love this quote.

Here's to "the hardships that became our teachers"... 

Yes, yes, yes.

So glad for a new year,
and a fresh start!

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Around Here: Week 45 {2018}

Spending... the weekend at the beach with my friends from small group (bible study).  We met every Monday from seventh grade through high school graduation and have stayed in contact all these years later.  Together we have 13 kids, but somehow we managed to get away together.  I love those girls so much!  We were bummed that Emily couldn't make it this time (love you, girl!) but the three of us made the most of it, talking, walking on the beach, enjoying dinner out, and savoring each other's company.  I even squeezed in a little reading and journaling while we were there.

Driving... home from the beach, which took forever!  There were two huge car accidents and traffic in general was just terrible.  It took me almost ten hours to get home! Blah!  The good thing about that much time in the car is that I got to finish Marilla of Green Gables on audio, and I got to start A Spark of Light. 

Relishing... being reunited with my kids after a weekend away.  All four kids ran out to the driveway when I pulled in, hugging me and welcoming me home. It was so sweet!  I was so happy to be home, and they were so happy to see me.  It was really tender. 

Creating... our family Christmas cards with the pictures my sister and I took of my kids a few weekends ago.  Josh and I opted out of our family pictures because my hair was falling out and Josh had Bell's Palsy at the time... so this year's Christmas card will star the children. ;)  The cards turned out *adorable* and I cannot wait to get my hands on them. I always use Shutterfly and have never been disappointed.  I will probably get started on addressing them after Thanksgiving.

Taking... Halloween decorations down, finally.  The last two weeks have kind of flown by, and with my being out of town, November sort of snuck up on me.  It felt good to tuck Halloween away.

Putting... Thanksgiving decorations up.  The kids' favorite part of each new holiday decor is, hands down, the books that come out.  So they were thrilled to wake up to all the Thanksgiving books on their shelf.  I love their enthusiasm so much!!

Suffering... some random anxiety symptoms on Tuesday & Wednesday this week.  I'm not sure why I was feeling so shaky and scared, but I felt miserable.  Thankfully, Josh was home Wednesday, so he was able to take Wyatt to Spokane for his Pulmonology appointment for me, so I could stay home, take a nap and engage in some self care.  Self care this week looked like a lot of sleep, and a lot of time on the couch watching TV.  Josh was really understanding, and between the sleep and the rest, I was able to start feeling better by Thursday, and by Friday I was back to my old self. Phew!
Josh thinks that maybe I was having anxious feelings about taking Wyatt to see the Pulmonologist, and he may be on to something.  His Pulmonologist is at the hospital where he was in the PICU back in December, where he almost died, so going there with him is always a bit emotional for me. I didn't put two and two together, but after he got back from taking Wyatt for me, he told me he figured that was why I was having a hard day.  Such an insightful guy.

Reading... and finishing Not That I Could Tell.  It was a good read, but I felt like the ending was weak.  That was a bummer.  I have since started The Patron St. of Liars by Ann Patchett.  It's good so far.

Taking... the kids to school in the car on Friday after the weather suddenly got very cold!  I am so grateful we got to walk/ride bikes to school for so long this year!  Making it this far into November has got to be some kind of record!  Now I will start waking up before the kids and working out with Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home videos.  In addition to that, I will be meditating in the morning.  I'm praying those two things will keep my mental health in place the way that walking the kids to school used to do!

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Around Here: Week 38 {2018}

Shocked... to find out that Josh has shingles and Bell's Palsy.  It started with some pain in his scalp during a haircut, then a bit of inner ear pain.  Then last Thursday he woke up and the right side of his tongue was numb and couldn't taste food.  Then Saturday morning he woke up in Vancouver (where he had traveled to help his brother, who is moving to our town) and the entire right side of his face was drooping.  I encouraged him to call the advice nurse and she said he needed to get into the ER.  In the ER they put all his symptoms together and figured out that he had shingles (the scalp & ear pain) that lead to Bell's Palsy (the tongue numbness & face drooping).  Basically the entire right side of his face is paralyzed.
Since then, his eye is now unable to close and he has to put eyedrops in constantly to keep it lubricated.  We also have to tape it shut at night so it doesn't dry out.
He's in a ton of pain from the shingles, and the Bell's Palsy is insanely annoying.  He can't taste his food or blink his eyes or smile normally, and the doctor told him it would be at least three weeks (on the short end) but could take up to six months to completely heal.  Luckily the shingles should heal in about two weeks.
In any event, it's going to be a long road, and my heart just hurts for him.

Coping... with this news by crying hysterically in the shower; going on long walks; talking to friends; eating too much candy; drinking soda (which I haven't had in months); eating comfort food; buying books at Goodwill (my favorite splurge); binging on bad TV at naptime and checking things off my to do list.

Happy... that Josh's brother Samuel moved here permanently.  My kids adore their Uncle Samuel and Josh has been happy having him around as well.

Hanging... with my girl Shana and feeling so grateful for her friendship.

Getting... flowers from our neighbor Barb.  They have brightened my bedroom all week.

Enjoying... muffins from my friend Megan.  Carly is also enjoying them.  And by enjoying, I mean telling me, "I have my own mom. I don't want to share yours." Hah!

Encouraging... a friend (and myself) to find 3 blessings per day to slowly find joy again.  Sometimes (often times) life is hard. So hard.  And just remembering each night as you fall asleep, three little things that made you smile or feel grateful can shift your focus from all that is wrong to all that has gone right.

• Stacks of books
• Sister laughs
• Spontaneous hugs

Walking... to school each day, and enjoying it so much.  The fall weather is simply gorgeous, and I love being out in it.

Going... to the doctor for my recent hair loss.  About two weeks ago, I started noticing I was losing more hair than normal.  It sort of came on my radar. Then this week I really noticed I was losing a LOT of hair.  So much that I would venture to say I've lost more than half of my hair since the beginning of September.  It's so upsetting.
I got myself an appointment earlier this week, assuming it was a delayed side effect from one of my medications (I take Topomax for migraines and Prozac for anxiety), but he said that it's not from either of those (which I've been taking since January & April).  He believes my hair loss is from chronic emotional stress, likely from the super stressful spring we had, when Logan was having an increase in seizures and Wyatt was sick back to back to back.

Not reading... enough this week.

Spending... too much time on social media.  Blah. (Accepting tips & tricks for how to spend less time online.  However, I'll be honest- I'm not willing to give it up entirely! #addicted)

Meditating... everyday this week, which is a step in the right direction for my brain, but hopefully next week I can add more reading and less scrolling to my meditating.  I use the Calm app, and I can't say enough good things about it.

Sleeping... through the night twice this week, and feeling amazing on those days.  I seriously love when I wake up and it's 4 or 5am and I'm like, "What?!? I slept all night?!?" It's the BEST!

Loving... the new couch Josh surprised me with.  It's a beautiful sectional from Costco and fits our whole family, and with room to spare.  The kids have all thanked Josh profusely for it, it's so cute!  The cats are big fans (obviously!) and it even makes me kind of excited for winter time and snuggling up for movie night with the fam.

Celebrating... Logan going two weeks seizure-free on his new meds.  We switched him after his last appointment from Lamictal to Tegretol (Carbamazepine).  He takes 200mg 2x a day.  So far, it seems to be working wonders.  I am ridiculously grateful and hopeful that it continues to work for him.

Taking... Wyatt to the doctor this morning when he woke up and blew a 225 after blowing 300's all week.  He became sick practically overnight.  What is just a runny nose, no big deal, for everyone else, settles into Wyatt's lungs and causes him severe distress, requiring an extended round of steroids, in addition to a week's worth of albuterol and budesonide treatments in his nebulizer.  It makes me grateful I enjoyed the break that the summer offered from his Reactive Airway Disease and asthma, and also grateful for all the steps we took to prepare for illness this fall (preventive inhalers, buying a new nebulizer, refilling prescriptions, and getting a new kind of nebulizer breathing apparatus called the Pari).
I am hopeful that with all these steps in place, and the fact that we got him on steroids so quickly this time, he will recover fast and be back to his regular, healthy self ASAP.

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